Letting it out

Holding ground

I'm stuck on the runway, waiting for take off.  It's feeling stuffy, and crammed. 

I need answers, but instead I'm stuck waiting. 

Cody will be finding out within a week or two when we comes home next month for R&R.  I'm hoping that it is in the later part of the month, considering we will still have more than half of the deployment to finish.  Want to make plans for little trips while he is here, appointment for pictures, but I have to wait. 

Tried talking to the wonderful people at the state about my application for certification, it could take another 30+ days to know anything.  That makes it February or March, which is all when I need to start applying for jobs for the fall.  But, I don't know what they are going to decide, so I won't know if I will even be certified, provisional, or SOL.  Again, I wait. 

I feel like there is so much I "should" be doing, but I can't get anything done without knowing the bigger answers.  I'm here on the runway just waiting for the captain to make the announcement that we are finally headed to our destination. 

Escaped

I'm "busy" diving into a book, you know, those things that have lots of paper and small print.  I find myself reading when the kids are busy, during naps, during commercials, and before bed. 

I spent my childhood with my nose in a book.  My parents would literally have to kick me out of the house to play, or I would just sit in my room reading book after book.  I would oblige, but take my book with me.  I would go hide up in the apple tree, on this massive rock in the front yard, or in the basement window covers just so I could get away from my 3 other siblings.  I was a dork.  No doubt. 

I'm not shunning the online community, but I'm enjoying my break from the computer so I can escape into another world, time, person, or place.  I'll be back.

What HAS to happen this year

Resolutions - not going to happen.  I hate broken promises, so I won't make them. 

Instead here is a list of things that MUST happen this year:

1. Get a job

2. Sell our house

3. Buy a house

4. Celebrate more birthday and milestones

5. Cody returning from his deployment safe and healthy

6. Leaving the military life completely

7. Love my children and husband even more

I want to press fast forward so I can see the light.  I am so excited to have a husband again, to have a father for my children be present and active every. single. day.  I am going to put my fingers in my ears, put on some blinders, and trudge through this year. 

Snow can be fun - Wordless Wednesday

Swinging door

My children's clothes are hung, their drawers are filled, the living room is exploding with toys, but I, am still living partly in a suitcase.  I have some clothes hung up, some in drawers, many in suitcases, and shoes in a duffel bag.  I have not had time to myself.  When you are living with someone else you feel as if you are always visiting - it's an odd thing to actually have someone to hold an adult conversation with nightly.  Add in the major reason why I haven't gotten completely settled is that the door keeps swinging wide open with visitors.  Addyson has learned her cousins names - even if she has shortened them or changed them a little, she knows them.  I love sitting back and watching her play with her older girl cousins, as she is a completely different child when not playing with the babies.  She does more pretend play than she has ever shown me - and it is so cute to watch.  I sit and think back to when I would pretend play with my dolls.  My heart feels warm and snug these days, and even if I'm not completely unpacked or have a lot of "me" time, I'm home, and I'm content again.