Letting it out

My three little pumpkins

This weekend was perfect.  We spent Saturday chasing after the kids and after they were all snug in their beds, Cody and I went out for dinner and a movie.  I let Cody choose the movie and it was funny, so he did a good job.  I still want to see WTWTA.  Yesterday we headed out to a pumpkin farm in the middle of no where.  The weather was chilly enough to wear pants, long sleeves, jackets, and hoods for the rugrats.  Addyson enjoyed all of it from the animals, bounce mat, make shift cart ride, to picking out the pumpkins.  When I set her loose to pick out a pumpkin I explained that we needed three pumpkins.  

On the hunt

Do you notice those really, really, small pumpkins?  Addyson wanted one of those pumpkins.  I kept telling her it was too smalll.  She would put it down 

and just go find another one.  I finally convinced her after picking up about 10 little pumpkins to get a bigger pumpkin.  

Remember when I told her she needed three pumpkins?  Well, she tried with all her skinny boned self to pick up three pumpkins.  

"Here mommy.  One for sissy, Ewigh."  

I ended up carrying two of the three pumpkins to the wagon where daddy and the babies awaited. 

Since we had some time to spare, Cody decided it would be a good idea to let he babies walk and pick out their own pumpkins. 

Eligh took about 3 steps on the hilly dirt filled ground and found his pumpkin.  

Kinsley, our independent gal, took off.  She was running through the pumpkins giggling like a teen-aged girl.  She is sure going to cause me some trouble some day soon.  Thus, there is no individual picture of Kinsley with her pumpkin and therefore more pictures of Eligh and Addyson together. 

The best I could get of my three little pumpkins

I tried to stop today from happening, but no one listened.  

One more weekend together for a long time.  Sigh.  This is going to be tough, extremely tough. 

 
 
  

Weekend aches

This weekend has been jammed packed from morning to night.  We spend all day with the kiddos playing.  Eligh and Kinsley can both take several steps throughout the house, fair to say they are walking.  Addyson gets so excited when she sees one of them "walking."  She yells, "Oooohh, you're walking!  YAY!"  Eligh will even hold onto her shirt and walk along with her.  Kinsley has developed quite the little attitude, which will be explained in more detail in just a few short days.  Once the kiddos are napping or in bed for the night, Cody and I go crazy.  We have cleaning up the yards, getting rid of tons of crap, took apart and cleaned the pool, organized the sheds, and put together 3 massive outdoor toys for the babies (thank you grandma for the toys that require a lot of assembly time), and prepped for the party next weekend. 

Besides all the above, I had a yard sale Saturday and did pretty well.  Definitely going to have another in a few weeks.  After hours of work, I came in to see that I had turned red (even with sunscreen) - whoops! 

Just a couple more days until mommy meltdown and I'm holding strong. 

Heard some great news today that will make my life a little easier sooner then later.  All to be revealed at a later date, and yes, I do know that it is September and that I have some news to share, but there is a big event happening soon that has consumed me.  Please, just hold tight a little longer. 

La la land

Instead of letting the weight of so many decisions and impending decisions weigh heavily on me, I'm attempting to live in this euphoria where everything is just perfect.  Instead of stressing about having to take some furlough days and the money I won't be taking home, I'll be enjoying the extra family time we get to spend together. 

I'm ignoring the news that, as of yesterday, will not even be here for Halloween.  I can't even begin to let myself go there, as he just got home from a training.  I'm just trying to live one moment at a time. 

The next two weekends will be jam packed with some family time, major tasks needing to get accomplished, and a birthday extravaganza.  These are good things to keep my mind off of the bigger issues at hand. 

I'm afraid, though, that these weekends are going to go by too fast and that the time will come where I will have to face these deep, dark realities that are going to beat me down to nothingness. 

Instead let me enjoy this "la la land" I have allowed myself to embrace because the alternative is nothing but dark.

On the fence

For once, and probably the only time I will ever want this to happen:  I want the weekend to go by fast.  Yes, I wrote it, but I'm not brave enough to make it too large, for fear that it will bite me in the ass some day.  Reasons I do not want the weekend to fly by:

• Little time with the kiddos
• Going back to work
• Work
• All the laundry and cleaning I need to get down
• Not as many snuggles, kisses, and giggles to witness
• Shorter time with the kiddos
• Work

So why in the world would I want something so dreadful to happen?  Daddy will be home!!!!  I do have to say the month that he he has been gone has gone by faster than I originally anticipated.  Thinking about this path month, I am sad.  Sad that Addyson hasn't asked for daddy, beyond the first week he was gone.  If I ask her where daddy is she just responds with, "work."  If I ask her if she misses daddy, she makes a pouty face and says "yes."  I worry that with that upcoming thing, Addyson won't ask for daddy.  She will just become accustomed to him being gone.  That breaks my heart.  If Addyson can't ask, than I know the babies won't understand it all either.  It's not ok for my children to be "used" to their daddy being away that it is ok.  It is not ok.  Some say it is better when your children can't ask you every day where daddy is and you attempt to explain it to them and they just can't comprehend how long this absence will last, they just want their daddy.  I'm on the fence.  I don't want to have to explain it daily, nor do I want my children to be angry at their father for being away.  I want the kids to miss their daddy and ask about him (not every day, because it would be emotionally draining) just so I know that I am doing enough to keep therelationship with their father existent.  I'm teetering back and forth not ready to plant my feet on either side. 

****Another reason for the weekend to quicken:  Eligh attempted to take a step or two.  "Sit down Eligh."  Wait, baby, wait for your daddy, please!"****

Packing in the fun

Mom leaves tomorrow.  Here are some snapshots to help show what we have been busy doing for the past week.  

The kids' new toy.  

Trip to the playground for the cutest picture of the twins

A trip to the waterpark

And another visual of just how big Frank's Big Ones are:

Christmas in July

This, my friends, will be mine (ok, the kids') within the next 24 hours: 

Minus those kids, of course.  This has been planned as a Christmas gift for all three, but we found an amazing deal, reduced by 77%.  Truly amazing.  Just happened to be browsing an online site and someone was offering one that had been used for less than a year.  I couldn't pass it up.  So, the kids will be having a little Christmas in July.  I know that we can't keep it hidden until December, nor would I be able to contain my excitement over it. 

What I should be doing

Typically, I'm a non-stop cleaning freak.  Freak, I know.  Before school let out, I planned to clean the walls, paint the living room, clean the carpets, potty train Addyson, and do some purging.

I have a few weeks of summer left and I have done only a few things.  It's not that I don't have time, but I just don't want to.  I have spent more time than not in my pajamas.  I have spent more time sitting than moving (probably why I have gained 5 pounds - and I'm sure those mondo cookies have something to do with it too - but shhh!).  I pop a squat on the floor and get attacked by the kiddos, mostly the twins.  Kinsley always finds a way to comb my hair (more like yank it out strand by strand).  Eligh seems to head butt me at least once a day (still have a nice scar from the other day's head butt).  Addyson loves to balance on my stomach/back (not only balance, but then jump up and down).  I have decided that before I return to work, I will be chopping my hair.  I can't stand the constant pulling of the hair, and wearing it up every single day.  Mostly, I have spent the summer doing a whole lot of nothing.   

We have painted the living room, continually purge (even getting some money from some of these purges), organized rooms here and there, and done the bare minimum for cleaning. 

We did take a vacation to Disney, been on a couple dates with Cody, relaxed more then I ever have, and truly enjoyed every second of every day of my summer break. 

And now, with weeks of vacation left I have started potty training.  Scream and run away.  We are on day 2.  Laugh.  Who knows what will happen, if anything.  I am going to go tonight to buy some stickers and make a chart to help give Addyson something to visualize as she hopefully, some day uses the potty (besides once a day).  I'm scared of what I'm entering, as we had a day full of 4 accidents, one major clean-up that yes, I made Addyson help pick up.  My child, though, found cleaning up enjoyable, as she has OCD and loves to clean any and everything.  Shit, she has probably cleaned more walls than I have this summer.  

I'm sure I'm going to hit a time when I'm cleaning like a madwoman again, probably sooner than later as I think the mom is coming down here.  She told me that she would let me know her official dates today.  Those carpets that need to be cleaned, will be cleaned, those walls that need to be scrubbed a little more, will be scrubbed, those rooms that need to be reorganized, will be reorganized, and the stress that I have put away will be back as I await her arrival. 

Steps

Last week Cody went to a meeting (skip through all the pictures and read the bottom) discussing his upcoming training.  With this meeting they had to take steps towards getting prepared to deploy.  One of those steps is getting all legal work completed.  One of the documents he completed was a power of attorney, allowing me to do pretty much anything in his name.  There are several specific power of attorneys that you may also get, but typically this is all you need when your spouse is deployed.  It always amazes me to hear some of these "experts" speak about such matters.  I have heard this same women speak 2 other times and say the same damn thing, "Make sure you know how to pay the bills and what bills get paid when and how to access them, because I never have taken care of the bills it has always been my husband's responsibility.  When your spouse gets ready to leave make sure you have all the keys to the vehicles and house, because there was one deployment that my husband took the only keys to his vehicle with him."  And the idiotic rambling continues.  I have always been and always will be in charge of our financial matters, it just works out better for our family for many reasons.  Whenever Cody does leave for a deployment I drive him up there typically really late at night.  First deployment he left sometime after midnight.  2nd deployment it was well after 10pm.  I keep thinking about all the logistics of when Cody leaves.  Bringing all 3 kiddos with me (probably having to wake them up - having to take them all back home extremely pissed off and overly tired)  Waking up the next morning to three crabby under-slept children. 

Grocery shopping with 3 small children:  Do I go once a month and stock up at Sams?  Or, do I go every weekend to the store up the road?  Either way, three kiddos in a cart with a mound of groceries should equal a good time. 

As of now we are assuming the "rumors" are true and just hope for the best.  With that said, the last holiday we will celebrate together for quite a while will be the twins' birthday in September.  Being the scrooge I am, I do not know if I will even celebrate the other holidays.  I won't want to go out for Halloween, I won't want to do anything for Thanksgiving, and Christmas (FORGET IT).  We typically put lights up both in and out side, this year, it won't happen at all.  I won't even probably put up a tree.  I may not even buy the kids anything.  They are little and don't know when holidays are, so why bother?  Aren't the holidays about being with loved ones?  If we all can't be together, then to me it is not a holiday.  No point.  I guarantee that my parents are going to want us to go there for Xmas, but there are some circumstances that must happen first:

1. My mother must come down here this summer.  She keeps telling me she is coming down, even tells everyone specific dates, but has failed to commit.  Fine.  But, I don't want to hear that you don't see your "distant" grandchildren.  Your choice.  We have been there twice since the twins have been born.  December and March.  You have been here once (September).
2. I will not fly with all three children by myself, nor will I drive.  Someone will have to fly here to fly back and forth with us. 
3. I will not pay for it. 

This weekend marks an exciting holiday, one of my favoritesfor many reasons.  I hope to write a post about my hero, as he has helped our country remain free and independent.  Cody will be off for 4 whole days, so we will see if I get to post.  With that said, we are taking another step towards preparation for his month long training.  2 years ago, Cody made the following for Addyson when she was just 2.5 weeks old:

 

It is not just a bear, but a bear that he recorded a message for.  Well, over time the recorder has stopped working.  Cody is going to record a new message for her bear and have them surgically remove the old recorder and replace it with a new one.  Cody is also going to make the twins an animal with a recording, as well, this weekend.  Once the animals are created and fixed, I will post a picture of all three. 

We are slowly, grudgingly making steps toward training and then....

A whole body laugh

This little princess has an extreme case of the mommyitis.  

That is, she is up my ass.  Sit on the couch, she stands up beating at my legs.  Sit on the floor, she crawls up on me.  Leave the room, hyseteria begins.

With this mommyitis, brings on some severe jealousy issues from the diva.

The diva loves her brother and sister, but she definitely favors Eligh more.  

Addyson tries to sneak an attack on Kinsley when she thinks I can't see her.  Kinsley goes to end table reaches for a toy, and Addyson just shoves her out of the way.  I put Addyson on time-out, we talk, she apologizes to me and Kinsley and gives kisses and hugs.  This is an ongoing thing.  Truly, it shocked me.  I predicted that the two girls would tag team against Eligh, but that is so not the case.  Instead, Addyson picks on Kinsley and protects Eligh from the following:

With all that said, Addyson is the only one who can get Kinsley to truly laugh with all of her body.
Kinsley really laughing

*****Addyson was not trying to hurt Kinsley with the soft book, but make her laugh.  No tears or screams were made during the making of these laughs. 

Fake it till you make it

I can't do it.  I can't post any more Disney happiness right now.  I don't have it in me.  I just can't fake it till I make it. 

Looked at Cody's face last night while we were watching "So You Think You Can Dance" and all I could see were the kids' faces.  Not only do we have a month long separation in our near future that my kids are not going to handle well, but a sooner then expected at LEAST 12 month separation to hell.  Did you read that, at LEAST a year.  Missing not one, but two Xmases.  The kiddos get so upset when daddy leaves to go to work, the twins and all.  They just start crawling towards daddy grabbing at his legs crying.  Can you imagine that day when he has to say bye to them for 12+ months?!  I just imagine buckets of tears, heartaches, and screams for daddy.  Those images that haven't even happened are flooding my brain. 

So the previously happy posts about one of the greatest places in the U.S., are on hiatus, as is my happiness. 

Every little smile, hug, kiss, laugh, touch, everything with Cody is going to be cherished and memorized even more then before.